No more..

No more high hopes upon you dear, after words of lies you told me.

No more hopes dear, after all promises you break..

No more excitement to reach home after you have clearly despised my-truthful-and-yet-high-expectation love towards you

No more joy of waiting to see your face after you like somebody else

No more love like i used to have before, after you broke my heart with your sweet talks

You cheat you lie and you pretend a lot

You like him but not me

You lied
I trusted you

It hurts

A lot

No more trusts and no more hopes

I suppose, i would be happy that way

Your charming complexion, your husky voice, those are your bids to others' hearts

It is SO you!

my Hope

I stared at my big piles of paper on my room floor. Three boxes of my stuffs are also on the corner. Glasses on tables. Wind banged my glass window, oh please bang harder so that i know i am still alive and awake.

After Subh prayer, i pondered, is hope always fulfilled by Him? Is it similar to faith or they exist as one thing? Can i count my tear drops one by one so that i know every each of it counted as hope?

Can i rise back after a tragic fall? can i be the same again after i ve been through?
Do i deserve to be appreciated after all that happened to me?

All these questions have been on my mind since then. A long time ago.

As shown in the picture above, could my hope grow again? In a deserted land with no water no man?

It hurts a lot just recently i received two heartbreaking news, firstly about myself and secondly is demise of my uncle.

It hurts to the point i questioned why He gave these to me. Is it because of my stupidly sinful life? or perhaps blessings in disguise?

It hurts a lot. And yet, i am searching for the answers which i could never find.
But in the end, it is HIM who determined how your life would be after your plans eventhough a mountain of efforts or hopes, He knows best.

I miss you my little teddy bear, you sang me THE CLIMB yesterday when i called you.
I miss you.