You call them humans, but I call them Angels

I was touched when my little nephew asked me do I go back to London just for a week or so? I then answered, a week could be longer than we thought it would be, and he understood in a way that a week is equal to a year.

The kid in the picture named Hazeem and he is 3 years old. My nephew is so naughty. Who wouldn't believe that he could read Iqra' already as well as kindergarten books.

Wani, it means crocodile in Japanese but you know she would not like it if I say this. This best friend of mine is now in Glasgow, doing her Master. She is so lovely to the point that all things I share with her would be sweet memory even though she likes to laugh on my stories, dear, that's ok.

Abang Emad, many thanks to you for who had helped me a lot during my hardships in Malaysia. Your helps, your smiles and your kindness will be stapled permanently in my heart. Arigato ne.

For you guys up there, I miss you so much. Words could not describe these feelings but I am so thankful to God for what I have been given.

On top of this, both of my parents are the most I love and yet, mom, dad, your son here is okay and would come back to Malaysia next year with a title i've been longing for so long.

Alone

While my friends in Malaysia, spending their time with family and loved ones, I am here doing my work and reading.

People say, after hardships there will be easiness. In other term, glory or victory.
I put below a quote from Mother Teresa about loneliness.

"We can cure physical diesases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love"

~Mother Teresa~

I found loneliness is so much harder than is has been rumoured around. Being by myself here even though taught me to be independently strong however the process to reach it, drains my spirit.

It keeps me stronger when I think of love E has given me and Moms' prayers and blessings.
I miss you a lot, E and of course Mom and family.

Open house on the day I reached Cardiff

I met many new faces on that night. We started to eat an hour after the entry to the community hall in Cathays, Cardiff. New faces drowned me. I do not know most of them and of course they are freshies.

I look it this way, perhaps new friends would bring new experiences and new memories. But I miss my old friends.

To name them here would give a long list.

The menu was okay. I did not have more than I should have so that is why friends nagged me for being so skinny.

I miss my mom's dishes, abg Emad's sahur menu and maktam's food.

Samsung Toco Light

I have got this new baby and her name is Sam Sung Toco Light.
What a name isn't it?

It means so much to me and yet my new baby is now in my hand. So many things I could do including surfing the internet and online with my YM.

Besides her, there is another important and loving person in my life who knocked the door of my heart about 2 months ago this october 11.

I need a life, yes, a simple life.
Simple life with my Samsung Toco Light and my other half.

The End

No more..

No more high hopes upon you dear, after words of lies you told me.

No more hopes dear, after all promises you break..

No more excitement to reach home after you have clearly despised my-truthful-and-yet-high-expectation love towards you

No more joy of waiting to see your face after you like somebody else

No more love like i used to have before, after you broke my heart with your sweet talks

You cheat you lie and you pretend a lot

You like him but not me

You lied
I trusted you

It hurts

A lot

No more trusts and no more hopes

I suppose, i would be happy that way

Your charming complexion, your husky voice, those are your bids to others' hearts

It is SO you!

my Hope

I stared at my big piles of paper on my room floor. Three boxes of my stuffs are also on the corner. Glasses on tables. Wind banged my glass window, oh please bang harder so that i know i am still alive and awake.

After Subh prayer, i pondered, is hope always fulfilled by Him? Is it similar to faith or they exist as one thing? Can i count my tear drops one by one so that i know every each of it counted as hope?

Can i rise back after a tragic fall? can i be the same again after i ve been through?
Do i deserve to be appreciated after all that happened to me?

All these questions have been on my mind since then. A long time ago.

As shown in the picture above, could my hope grow again? In a deserted land with no water no man?

It hurts a lot just recently i received two heartbreaking news, firstly about myself and secondly is demise of my uncle.

It hurts to the point i questioned why He gave these to me. Is it because of my stupidly sinful life? or perhaps blessings in disguise?

It hurts a lot. And yet, i am searching for the answers which i could never find.
But in the end, it is HIM who determined how your life would be after your plans eventhough a mountain of efforts or hopes, He knows best.

I miss you my little teddy bear, you sang me THE CLIMB yesterday when i called you.
I miss you.